Blogging Against Social Anxiety

Ever had that experience where you suddenly find yourself the center of attention and turn bright red for no reason? Where the more you think about stopping it the more you face starts to look like an overripe tomato? It hasn’t happened to me for quite some time, which I guess is a mark of progress. But of course, as is the way with social anxiety, just when you think you’ve got something beaten it comes back at you with a vengeance from time to time. I got my hair cut really short last week, shaved number 2 all over. I’m still not sure why – I suddenly decided on a whim to just see what it would look like. And Monday mornings at work we have a regular team meeting with about 12 people. So of course I rock up and am instantly faced with all sorts of comments about my hair. “What happened? Are you joining the military? “Are you going to Iraq” and so on. I make a lame attempt at defusing it with a joke and start to turn bright red. Read the rest of this entry »

Setbacks are a natural part of the process of overcoming social anxiety. After a few months of really measurable progress, I’ve just had one of those weeks where nothing seems to go right, and you start questioning whether you really are moving forward. It started out well. I organized an event last weekend, getting together a group of people that I met recently at a social event, for drinks at a bar. Now this is the first time I have ever done anything like this in my life. Taking the initiative to invite a whole group of people out, some of whom didn’t even know each other. But on the way there suddenly a whole bunch of old insecurities come flooding back into my mind. Suddenly I start thinking too much. “What am I going to talk to these people about? What if they don’t all get along? What if I start to get anxious like I used to do and they notice I am acting weird…” And so on… It’s amazing what tricks the mind can play. So by the time I got there, I was feeling anxious and jittery. I couldn’t relax. I could feel the tension in my face. The more I thought about it the more difficulty I had smiling. I was back in that vicious circle of anxiety where the negative thoughts in your head become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Read the rest of this entry »