I have just come to terms myself with the reality of my own social phobia. I’ve had it my whole life and I’m 53. I’ve realized I am deteriorating and finally understood there may be something I could do to make it better. So I’m joining the forum, buying the social anxiety workbook and may even be seeking a therapist. I’m tired of the isolation. I offer my friendship. If you ever need to talk feel free to drop me an email.
greenpilgrim50@yahoo.com

I am scared about losing the respect of my bf who is frustrated with trying to get me to be more social and have my own friends.
Soo confused, and soo lazy!
I hope you don’t mind a random stranger posting on your blog, I found it good food for thought – thanks

I started on the tapes in 2004 and was very motivated, as two months from getting them I had a presentation to do in front of 40 people.

I listened to the tape twice a day, once on my way to work and on the way home, for two months.

I couldn’t have been more happy with the tapes, They were outstanding with my social anxiety at the time, but I also had the same problem, after two months I give up with the tapes as I had listened to the tapes a lot.

Unfortunately after stopping my social anxiety came back with full force and has been a problem for the last two years.

I’m about to start them again and am really hopeful this time, that whilst not a full cure, they reduced my social anxiety by about 95%.

$400 may seems a lot, but getting 20 weeks worth of specific therapy was fantastically cheep, especially also as straight after the course I managed to get a job paying twice as much as I was earning at the time. I would never have done that when my social anxiety was controlling me.

You want to develop your self into something people like but if your not careful in how you think about it, it can lead you right back to your anxiety that you worked so hard to get away from.

Social Anxiety starts when you start worrying what other people think about you and psychologist actually have a label for this. It is called “The Disease to Please” and it is very easy to overcome with the right kind of mental conditioning.

I suggest reading a few books on psychology.

Listen, I really hope you go through your comments. I have something important to say. =)

Lately, I too have decided to make proactive progress to overcome my social fears. The really crazy thing is that no matter how many times I make a decision to, say, go shopping alone, I always come back to the same old setting and environment as I had left off — only afterward, I feel all battered and bruised inside; perhaps you can relate.

The effort and commitment I put into this stuff is never recognised by others, and what is supposed to be massive lifestyle changes only ends up making me feel like I’m going backwards in my journey.

Of course, the easy thing to say is “stick with it, you’ll see the light eventually”. Alas, I become wrought with depression and negativity. lol. Here’s the thing…

I honestly believe that if we (SA sufferers, who actually want to tame destiny), could only be continually motivated to stick through with the goals we set for ourselves, and to be rewarded (or at least praised and encouraged) for all the things we put ourselves through, then we can really shift gears and leave a rainbow trail of glory behind!!

Thus, I propose to you, sir: contact me at the below email address. I wish to make contact with whomever will keep me accountable for my actions (good or bad) and encourages, advises and motivates me that all the horse-shit I put myself through will ultimately be worth it — somehow. In return, I wish to be there for you also. =)

I’ve also been reading up on things like “exposure therapy”, where I am supposed to face some anxiety-inducing situations head-on, until something clicks; where each subsequent challenge becomes increasingly more difficult. But, knowing me, I’ll get all caught up in the “negativity spiral (of doom)”, and stuff. Merhaps we can set each other some challenges and promote each other to stick with it till the end, no?

Please lemme know what you think, man.

my email: bigchief0142000@yahoo.com

Cheers,
SpaceMonkey

Within the next 6 months I hope to be improving as you are, it is inspiring to read about other peoples success. Good luck.