Archive for June, 2009

Back to the Gym…

June 27, 2009 at 5:49 pm · Filed under social anxiety

I renewed my gym membership last week after a 5 or 6 month break from regular exercise. And I have to say it feels great. I’ve only done two sessions so far, and both times my entire body was aching the next day. But both times I came out feeling refreshed, and a lot less anxious about life in general. I know my body is going to ache for a couple of weeks yet, but it is going to get easier and easier. As long as I commit myself to going in three days a week — even when I don’t feel like it — I know there is no way I can’t make progress. I’ve done it before and I can do it again. In some ways I think this is a good metaphor for overcoming social anxiety. Read the rest of this entry »

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A most peculiar negative thought

June 23, 2009 at 5:59 pm · Filed under social anxiety

I had an interesting experience yesterday that suddenly reinforced to me the craziness of the automatic negative thoughts that race around the minds of social anxiety sufferers. It was after my Chinese class and I was standing around chatting with a group of my fellow students. We were all commenting on how little progress we seem to be making in Chinese, and one of the girls commented that she was so envious of people that are able to master a foreign language, especially one of the difficult Asian ones. And at that point I found myself thinking, “lucky she doesn’t know that I am totally fluent in Japanese”. Which I am. Which is a very impressive fact. Which is something I should be very proud of. Which is a fact I should not be hiding when I am talking to an attractive girl. What on earth is going on here?
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More on relationships and SA…

June 2, 2009 at 6:33 pm · Filed under Relationships, social anxiety

As I said in my last post, I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about relationships and SA. It’s my impression (purely a subjective one based on reading forums, etc) that a lot of SA sufferers end up in unhealthy relationships that do them more harm than good. Here’s my take on that. Most of us never dated at all in high school and university, and “stumbled” our way into relationships rather than meeting a wide range of people and then making an informed choice about who we really wanted to be with. When your options are limited (because of your anxiety and shyness) then you are more likely to settle for whoever is available. You are also more likely to attract somebody with emotional issues of their own. And when that relationship is not fulfilling your needs, you are less likely to leave because you feel like there is nobody else out there for you. Read the rest of this entry »

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Is my relationship holding me back?

June 2, 2009 at 6:12 pm · Filed under Uncategorized

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships and social anxiety. After about one and a half years of staying totally single, I’m in a relationship again. It’s been six months now, and I’m having a great time with my new girlfriend. But here’s the thing. While those six months have been a very happy time for me in many ways, I’ve recently come to the realization that in other ways I have been going backwards. A year ago, I was pushing myself to regularly attend events where I didn’t know anybody to practice mingling, I was going to the gym regularly, and I was taking public speaking classes. Now, the easy option on weekends is to just hang out with my girlfriend. And I have become very lazy. As a result, I can really feel the SA starting to creep back into my life. I sometimes feel anxious even meeting up with friends, and I feel much more nervous attending meetings at work. Read the rest of this entry »

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Restarting my blog — a year later…

June 2, 2009 at 5:51 pm · Filed under Uncategorized

Well, it’s been more than a year since I posted on this blog, and I’ve decided it’s time to start writing again. In retrospect, the best progress I ever made in beating SA was the period of a few months when I was blogging about my experiences in early 2008. There is definitely something very positive and motivating about getting your thoughts down in print. SA has been on my mind a lot again lately, so I’m hoping to start posting again quite regularly. Standby!

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